Himuous's Xanga

Exchanging watches...

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:52:18 GMT

Not much to update lately, unless I recently exchanged my Agnes b watch with my closest lad. His watch is gorgeous with the "multi-year calendar" on it. The layout is very attractive. I am surprised he proposed to exchange with me. I never did that before, even with Esther. That sweet congee on my sick day was pretty impressive, mate!

Think I should keep my track back to yoga classes and gym exercise, after a few days of rest. Keep it up little dinosaur!

Someone says to build a good relationship, the first thing you need to do is keep your patience. Then the next step is to pay your efforts, no matter there is returns or not. It is not a financial plan you can analyze. Risk is to be taken but not evaluated. You will be paid off someday. It's all you have to trust on afterall. When Mandy Moore sings "Have a little faith in me", I thought she is telling us the same.

Routines

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 04:16:03 GMT

Not much to update these days. My life is back to very routine. I just regularly go to work, yoga, swim during weekends. I rejected most of the gatherings and datings proposed. I stopped music. I even paused the Cello class and quitted badly on the shootings (sorry CC!). I don't know. I suddenly do not want to be engaged to the city.

Sun Fai said he doesn't know what to do, and neither do I. Sometimes you want something so much then you fight for it. You keep failing, then you'd let it go. I let my hand go, not because I am disappointed, but because I know it is not good for us.

I still hate the rains. It blocks me from breathing properly. My chest is stuck these days. I do a lot of DEEP breaths, like the way in yoga classes. Many times I woke up in the middle of the nights and just breathed. Headache comes up today. So I want to write and swing it away.

Now, I just hope my quiet and peaceful mind will not be disturbed.

4th

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 12:33:16 GMT

It's been 3 months today, yet it's like 3 years since the days we met. Now we are walking in a different paths, I still think of you from times to times. No matter how many yoga classes I go, how far I swim from one to another side, how tanned I got, or how much I change my hair, I am still what I am.

So when is this cycle gonna end? I like the quiet me. At least I don't release anger anymore.

Gary on the Wall

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 03:55:40 GMT

To fresh up myself and you, I present you the Gary on the Wall. Thank you Etheria!

Pouring Rain

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 00:10:41 GMT

I hate when it rains every morning these days. Whenever I wake up and look up the windows nothing is there except acidic water, pouring like the blood of my heart. I feel headache and chest pain.

I do miss the time we were together. Flashes are back in my mind all the times whenever I go to a cinema, walk in the street or look at my donald duck mug. Yet it seems he is not going to mend whatever we are missing. Our needs are different and my value is likely insignificant. I cannot say we are over because we simply did not start at the ground. I visualized all the things which he is not with. I love him, and in the meantime, hate him much.

God, am I helpless? I couldn't sleep well and I want to get rid of this depressing situation. I know I have so much troubles but I have no direction how to deal with them. Maybe when I stay longer in this castle, shall I be recovered. I am lost for years anyway.

Oxford, Cambridge? Well it would be already blessful for me, if I could ever have a chance to study overseas.

Open Relationship....is a norm?

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 04:22:45 GMT

A several cases of open relationship recently drew my attention, that maybe in such a metropolitan place with too many entertainments and temptations, we sometimes lose controls over traditional rules of relationship.

So what is "Open Relationship"? When two persons come together, they may express every single love sign towards each other. They dates, kiss, fuck, and get to know each other. Yet they may not reach a moment to committ their feelings. No expectations are set up, no faith issues are to be raised. Both side feel comfortable to be together, without bondages and responsibilities. Either side can go, whenever they feel like to.

The group which is "for" it, thinks it is easier to handle feelings and emotions. They mostly enjoy pretty well on single status. They can fool around, without being blamed for not resisting temptations. Easy come easy go, that's the rule from the no-rule world.

Those who is "against" it, or is "not sure" about it, well they believe it is rather pointless to have someone with you if you cannot see the future. They need security. They need disciplines. They are more traditional and more willing to give.

So is it a norm to get into an open relationship? Is it an alternative way to replace the majority love's world? Are we able to really hold back all the feelings to whom we actually "feel" something, and rationally analyze all the relationship possibilities in between?

Are we going to save ourselves with all the possible ways to protect our own weak hearts?

A Stressful Meeting

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:18:21 GMT

I've been worrying about my career for a whole week, until then tonight I finally met my DM and the Administration Manager, and discussed about my future tasks and changes. I was never that nervous since long ago. And this time I was really freaked out that I might lose my job if I am not good enough. After the meeting I know where I am going to in the next few months. It surely relieved me a lot from my recent stresses. And the yoga tonight was pretty coherent!

Over the week I was pretty stressed about my career, self-esteem and relationships. Sun Fai and I didn't find each other for some days already and I feel so bad about it, although I completely understand, that we will rarely work this out properly considering about his personality. No matter what I wish him happy always. I guess he is pretty busy with his work too. But, whenever I am at low points, he was not around.

So I begin to think, should we find one who can entertain together, or should we find one who can lift us up whenever we are down? A coin has two sides, and I am sure I am a greedy guy to want them both.

恐龍之父教出兩代精英董枝

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:56:41 GMT

Gosh! I had a sleepless night, although I was not in Seattle I did hear the song <When I Fall in Love> during yoga class last night.

Am I able to go through the crisis of my career as well as my relationship mind, at the same time?

I suddenly, want to be an archaeologist!

【明報專訊】誰是中國見過最多恐龍化石的人？相信非董枝明莫屬。

董枝明是全中國發掘過最多恐龍化石的人，一生與恐龍結下不解緣，大學畢業後一直與「恐龍」為伍，追隨恩師、中國恐龍之父楊鍾健，在全中國發展恐龍出土、發掘、研究技術。在落後歐美國家200年的「捱打」狀態下，董充分利用內地的豐富恐龍化石進行「山寨廠式」研究，亦努力培育第三代恐龍研究人員，今次運往香港的恐龍骨，就是由他的學生王濤發現的。

71歲的董枝明是中國恐龍之父楊鍾健的學生，他一生致力研究恐龍化石，現已退居幕後，擔任恐龍谷的顧問。董1962年畢業於復旦大學生物學系後，跟隨恩師四處尋覓龍骨。「當時我選擇恐龍化石研究，都算較冷門，但我卻很喜歡，那熱情一直到現在。」

老百姓是幕後功臣

60年代，董枝明經常陪同老師四處找龍骨，全憑老百姓幫忙，「大雨過後，龍骨在泥土外露，老百姓見到了就通知我們」。至今董枝明個人就發掘了最少37種類的中國本土恐龍。「中國恐龍骨特別多，佔全世界六分之一，部分更是中國獨有的，例如遼寧省發現有羽毛的恐龍，就只有中國有。」

董枝明桃李滿門，培育出不少研究及發掘恐龍化石的人員，發現送港祿豐龍化石的人員，就是其學生王濤。王濤是行動派，沒什麼學術背景，只是自小就跟隨父親去掘化石，漸生濃厚興趣，「我父親跟董老師是同輩，我自小就跟隨他們上山掘」。

王濤是雲南楚雄人，生於這個恐龍之鄉。他叫記者隨手指附近一個山坡，接就能說出那個山內有沒有恐龍化石埋藏、什麼種類、如何發掘出來等。「掘出來就能用小槌子，以人手慢慢掘出來，先將骨頭附近兩至三米地方撥開，套上箱子穩定，可以的話要盡快整條移到博物館，避免下大雨令化石損毀。」

問及王濤恐龍出土時有沒有什麼要避忌的地方，他認真地說，研究人員沒有避忌或習慣這類東西，反而最難忘一次，就是一年前他為保山上一副仍在挖掘的恐龍骨的完整，冒住大雨上山救「骨」，怎料自身難保，「雨水把路浸了，我的車無法返回頭，只好在山村過一晚」。

今次運往香港的祿豐龍是去年6月由王濤發現，當時他在楚雄恐龍谷的後山發掘出這副化石，驚覺這條恐龍的下身很完整，全身300塊骨頭，頸椎、脊椎齊備，恥骨及大腿骨完好無缺。他說，恐龍骨要經過修復及整理才能送港，先在表面塗一層保護劑，防止潮濕天氣影響龍骨，「最重要不要滲水，來港以後，由於濕度太高，可能要每兩年塗一次保護劑」。

Where is my foundations?

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 03:57:50 GMT

Today I realise I have fallen into the most dangerous zone in my life. I broke my record to reach the highest number. My eyes didn't blinks for an hour since I saw that number on the bar. "162"! Fuck the hell it should never be happening to me! What's wrong about me?

Today my horoscope analyzer told me this, "If you aren't sure what you should be doing at work now, don't look to anyone else for your answers. It's likely they will be just as unsure as you. Instead, go back to the basics. Tackle the tasks you have set aside. Keep in mind that you are building foundations for tomorrow and not just acting busy for today."

So where is my foundations? Michael L in Pure always told us to find our foundation first, before we extend our postures. I can't even do the real professionally properly for Downward Facing Dog. It sounds like to me all these days and years I was in the chaos, trying too hard to get a thing that I can never handle - Love. And then everything's off track. After talking to CC, I decided we should stick to a contingency plan with 5 foundations for the rest of 2008, discarding how exciting Olympics brings us.

Plan One - Foundations on My Body
Solutions: Get regular yoga (5 classes a week as a minimum), swim and sunbath during weekend (at least once), Gym (in the middle of those timeslots, as much as I can), eat less and do more, sleep around 12 mid everyday

Plan Two - Foundations on My Hobbies
Solutions: Get into Film Shooting with Vincy and CC, get into Drama with Andy AY, get into Cello with Sarah and B

Plan Three - Foundations on My Knowledge
Solutions: Get the driving license, get the GMAT certificate, and head to MBA in 2009

Plan Four - Foundations on My Eyes
Solutions: Get a Taipei trip with mum and sister in summer, get a Osaka trip with CC during Xmas

Plan Five - Foundations on Relationship
Solutions: Get away from love

P.S.
Been reviewing my status with Sun Fai all the times. I think we never work it out properly. We both have different expectations to each other. So Sun Fai, if you are patient enough to read until this line, you may find a bit more understandings on me. Of course, I know you would not read even through the first paragraph, and it only means we are completely on different track, aren't we?

Probational Year

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 00:44:23 GMT

Thank god today when I woke up I finally see some sunshine! Hope it retains.

With an eye blink it's been 3 years since I came back to this society. Despite how short these 3-years is in view of a lifetime, I've been through many ups and downs, saw too many relationship match ups, breakdowns, and fooling arounds. I tired everything new but nothing impressed me much at all. Am I too chilled towards everything now, I wonder? This probational period of years gave me the cruelest kind of life I've had. I was dumped, rejected, wanted, loved (perhaps?), cheated, and irritated. Nevertheless I am sure I grew up very fast. So does it mean after this probation I could be a permanent recognized member of this circle? Am I already categoried? And most importantly, am I ready to settle down my life?